Day 1

So, today was day one of my Medifast ordeal, and let me tell you that I have been RAVENOUS all day.

Southwest style eggs: not my best decision. And my cappuccino definitely needs to be mixed with HOT water, not with cold water and microwaved. That is a retarded idea. Soup was not bad, and shake tasted good, but left a strange film in my mouth. I guess it will just take some getting used to. Also, I decided that I should document my starting weight, as much as I HATE to disclose this embarrassing number to anybody, it was 203.4. Buuuhhhhh. I gained almost 2 pounds the past week strictly because I knew I was starting medifast, so I took it upon myself to shovel as much crap into my body as possible while I still could. Don’t judge.

Side note: For those of you who haven’t noticed, my blog has taken on a new look. I have been patiently waiting for Tenille at Templates by Tenille to get back to me about my blog design, but she is apparently MIA. So I took it upon myself to utilize one of her free templates in the meantime.

I'm Lovin It!

Well folks, this is my first link up with What I’m Loving Wednesday. Without further ado, let’s get started.

First, I am loving the fact that I got all my Medifast stuff in the mail today. That means I am one step closer to going from fat ass to fine ass. Or so I hope…

Second, I am currently on a Gilmore Girls binge. I loved the show when it was on TV every week, and you can bet your bottom dollar that I am STILL loving it right now! Thank god for big sisters that have the seasons on DVD.

Next, I am LOVING the fact that I have my next party on Sunday. It is a summer kickoff BBQ and it is sure to be a good time… as long as the rain holds off. For those of you who don’t know, I am freaking obsessed with throwing parties and decorating and planning them (hence me studying event planning). I will be sure to post pictures once the event has ensued.

Last, I am pretty dang stoked on the fact that I have been getting a lot of hits on my blog lately. HOWEVER, none of you slackers are a) following me, or b) even leaving me comments. REALLY?! Show a sister some love.

Son of A...

Let me tell you something about where I live. We have a pest problem. Some people’s pests come in the form of rodents, crows, pigeons, etc. Mine comes in the form of bears. Black bears. A fucking gang of them.

Okay, maybe it is just one this year. But I know this black bastard is one of the cubs from the crazy bitch mother we had last year.

Last weekend, this cuddly little fella hit our garbage behind our garage on Sunday night. Annoying. Then, he had the balls to show up again on Monday night, after we had taken the garbage out to the road for pickup.

Based on these behaviors, our ears have been tuned in to any sort of noise that might indicate that he has come back for more of our precious trash.

Last night’s experience included Chad hearing it out by the road, coming back in to get a flashlight, then making me stand in the driveway while he hopped in his truck and took off down the driveway. I thought he was going to just drive around the neighborhood (it’s a circle) and sneak up behind it. 15 minutes later I realized that I was obviously mistaken. He drove to the store for some skittles. But that isn’t the point.

Upon his return, this is the conversation we had:

Me: I feel bad that he dragged our garbage into the neighbor’s yard.

Chad: (picking up garbage) Did you throw away these taco shells?

Me: I honked my horn at him and he ran up around that way

Chad: Yeah right, he is probably sneaking around to flank us right now!

Me: Um… oh.

Chad: I am going to spear this mother fucker!

Check back soon to find out how Chad ultimately decides to remove this bear from our lives. Just now he was muttering about how he is going to get a tranquilizer gun, shoot it, and wait for it to go and pass out in the neighbor’s backyard.

Mc-Obsession

Well, Blair over at The Heir to Blair does NOT have a McFatty Monday link up today, much to my despair!! Not that I really wanted to have to confess to everybody that I have a SERIOUS problem lately. That problem being that McDonald’s chicken McNuggets. I can NOT stop sneaking to the drive thru to get them. Although I feel like I might have reached the level of satisfaction that I have been needing from them. Which is good because I will be starting Medifast later this week. So it will be no more McNuggets.

Too Soon?

As many of you don’t know, I’m sure, I am a complete holiday FREAK. Seriously. Particularly Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. I go completely batshit crazy over these holidays. So I was SUPER stoked yesterday when I got my Harvest 2011 catalog from ABC Distributing.

In case you aren’t familiar, ABC is one of those catalogs that carries a menagerie of random cheese ball gift items, but they also have some real diamonds in the rough, if you know what I mean. It is like a cross between an As Seen on TV store and Ross.

So, I am going to take this moment to show you some of the things that I currently have in my online shopping cart at ABCdistributing.com:

1. Gooseberry Patch Halloween book. I got the Christmas version of this book a couple years ago and it is A.MAZE.ING. No joke. There are so many crafts and recipes and fun ideas in these. This is the thing I can not wait to get my hands on the most.

2. Witch In the Kitchen apron. Being as that I adore Halloween SO MUCH, I tend to spend a lot of time in the kitchen preparing things like mummy pizzas, bat wings, and my all time fave, Witches Brew. This will be perfect.

3. Buck’s new favorite costume. Buck does have a turtle costume that was just cuter than a bugs ear that he wore last year, but this seems so much easier and more practical.

4. Tampon case. Because nothing is worse than having to walk all the way through the office trying to conceal a tampon during that time of the month. This one says (in case you can’t read it) “put your big girl panties on and deal with it”. Hysterical.

5. Halloween shelf signs. Again, I NEED all these useless holiday decorations. Clearly.

That’s it for now. Clearly most of the stuff I have is Halloween related because it is the earliest of the Fall Holidays. Wouldn’t want to get ahead of myself, would I?

Goodbye Vacation

Here we are at another Feel Good Friday. These are some things that made me feel good this week.

·         I successfully made Cake Pops for the first time.

·         We had a couple sunny days here… not as many as we SHOULD have, since it is officially summer right now, and I am looking out my window at RAIN. Stupid Seattle…

·         I took the plunge and placed an order for a brand new blog design!! Tenille over at Templates by Tenille will be getting that underway for me soon… so stay tuned for my awesome blog makeover.

·         My mom and I went out to lunch for her birthday with our neighbor, and we got some amazing Italian food for cheap!

·         Girls night with a few friends at our local Mexican restaurant. Laughs were a plenty, and I was introduced to Chicken Mole (which could put me in a tough spot… chicken covered with chocolate peanut butter sauce will NOT be helping me on my diet).

·         I made the decision to try Medifast. I have heard some really great things about it and I am at the point where I NEED to do something to lose this fatty material that is holding on to me for dear life.

Those are my Feel Good Friday musings for the day. This is my last official day of vacation, so I better get my ass off the couch and go make the most of it.

Weigh In #1.

So, I have been basically the worst blogger in the history of the world lately. But that is mostly because I haven’t wanted to blog because I haven’t had anything great to say about my weight loss. Because there is no weight loss to speak of right now.

Due to the fact that my fat-ness is doing me no justice in the blogosphere, I have decided that I must start to branch out and start linking up with other blogs. There is only so much flab I can talk about in a week! However, I will still be linking up to McFatty Mondays and then I will be starting Weigh In Wednesdays. With that said my weight today was (drumroll please)…

Barf.

Not So Good Friday

So, I know I have been QUITE absent this week, but I have had a lot going on actually. Shocking, I know, since I never have anything happening, haha.

Today is Feel Good Friday, but LET ME TELL YOU, it did NOT start out well.

A little background: Today was my last day of work before a week long vacation. This week every summer is when Chad and I head down to Oregon with some of our best friends to hit the Oregon Coast dunes. It is a GREAT time, and I have been looking forward to it a lot.

With that said, last night Chad told me that we would NOT be able to go to Oregon. I nearly blew a fucking gasket. I made reservations approximately a month ago upon his request for us and two of our friends. I have been saving money for two months so I have funds for this endeavor. This is the only vacation Chad and I EVER take together, so you can be damn sure I make the most of it.

His reasoning was stupid, and I don’t want to get into it, because I am wasting my Feel GOOD Friday by bitching about this.

So, some things about today that have made me feel good…

1.       It was my last day of work before my weeklong vacation.

2.       I went shopping on my lunch break and got some cute new stuff from Maurice’s (sure, I went just for a pair of sandals and came out with those sandals, a pair of shoes, two dresses, a top, and 3 headbands…)

3.       I went and got a tattoo on a whim after work.

4.       I completed work on our float for the Fall City Days parade.

So these are the things that have made me feel good today… along with the fact that I am home alone so I can watch whatever I want on TV and stay up however late I want.

Monday, Monday...

So I am going to combine my McFatty Monday posts with my challenge posts from now on. Since this is my first week of my personal challenges, I am going to start out small and make this my walking week. I will be taking a walk around my neighborhood with my dog every day. That is about a half mile of some legit hills people. Talk about getting my rear in gear. I think that if I reach my goal, I will reward myself with a manicure.

Now back to the McFatty part of this Monday. I thought I was pretty damn good this weekend. I didn’t boredom eat, I did some work with my horse, and I lifted two tons of concrete blocks. LITERALLY. Yet, I got on the scale this morning and I saw a revolting 202.4 pounds. WHAT. THE. HELL. So I am wondering if I was retaining water or if I have a super sized poop inside my body waiting to come out, but either way, I am not happy.

That is about all I have for this McFatty Monday. I urge you all to join me in my challenges and feel free to let me know how you do at the end of the week. Half a mile is NOT THAT HARD. Unless you live in the ghetto and going more than 15 feet from your front door could cost you your life. In which case my advice to you is to MOVE.

Weekend Warrior

Well, to end my weekend, I thought I would share with you some of the things that I got accomplished this weekend.

First of all, on Saturday, I had big plans with a friend of mine to take my Indian Princess (aka my horse) on a trail ride. So I get up in the morning and I head to the farm to get her all ready, only to find that she had got one of her front shoes caught in a fence while trying to get some grass from the other side (what a freaking cow). So, I couldn’t take her on a trail ride. Instead, my friend Tiffany decides that we should go ride in the local arena anyways and work on running barrels and other gaming events. Overall, it was a pretty dang good day, and my thighs are SORE. In case you aren’t familiar, riding a horse, especially in gaming events, you have to use your legs a lot to hold on. Whoa. So I felt really good about the workout I got during our couple hours at the arena. Then I got home and took a nap. And woke up just in time for my mom t come home with some Albertson’s heavenly fried chicken. Way to sabatoge me MOM. So I had to have some. Shoot. But overall it was a pretty good day.

Today, I continued my productive roll. I got up and dragged Chad to the grocery store with me, where we spent $240 on groceries… whoops. But we have food for the next couple weeks at least, which means no eating out! Excellent. Then back home to work on our backyard project. Try not to be too amazed, but I moved over a pallet of concrete blocks BY MYSELF. These blocks are about 62 pounds a piece, and I moved 55 of them. In case you aren’t good at math, that is 3410 pounds. That’s right bitches, I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROARRRRRRR!!!! Anyways, so that was a hell of an upper body workout, I will probably be feeling that in the morning. Then I cleaned the bathroom, as well as my basement, which kind of doubles as a living area. I kind of have to go backwards a couple months with that basement though. Chad moved in with me in February. And he decided to take my beautiful basement and dump his bench press right inside the door and promptly piled all sorts of crap on top of it. So I took a good three hours today, caught up on Glee, and got my basement back in entertaining condition.

I ended my day with rehearsal with my handbell choir, and am now enjoying a glass (or bottle) of wine. It was a good weekend.

Funny Inspiration

It’s feel good Friday people!!

While this week has presented me with some very frustrating situations (such as this strange feeling in my head that like to say is due to maybe all my skull bones actually disappearing), I am determined to end the week on a good note.

Things that I am looking forward to this weekend: Taking my horse on a trail ride in the sun, working in the yard, mid day naps, and catching up on some TV while cleaning the house. I am sure that some of you people don’t think those are things to get excited about, but BACK OFF. This is my post and I can be excited about whatever I want, capiche?

It is also payday, which makes life that much better! Although I appear to already have blown all my money on paying bills and shoveling it into my various savings accounts, it is nice to feel like I have money for a minute or two.

On a different note, I am currently reading a really great book that I didn’t think would relate to me as much as it has. It is called “Chocolate, Please” by Lisa Lampanelli. For those of you who don’t know who that is, you may want to consider turning on Comedy Central sometime and watching the roast of a celebrity. Then you will know who I am talking about when I mention Comedy’s Lovable Queen of Mean. Anyways, her book is about her life and, while it is really funny and entertaining, it has some very serious topics mentioned in it, including her addiction to food. Now, personally, I can relate to this, as she is a fatty after my own heart (except I drink more and am not fascinated by the African American penis). But, she also talks about her codependency issues, which I know there are a lot of people out there that would be able to smell what she’s steppin in when she talks about that stuff.

Overall, I am just trying to tell you that, if you want to read something about weight issues by a hilarious woman, you should probably check it out.

You dare to challenge ME?!

So, I tend to really slack off if I don’t have a specific challenge in front of me (which is most of the time). Therefore, I have decided that each week I will give myself a new challenge to complete for that week. I think that for my first challenge I will be challenging myself to a) take a walk EVERY DAY, either before work or after I get home, and b) lose 1.5 pounds. These are small enough goals that I think it should be easy enough. Yes?

That is all I really have to write about right now. I haven’t done anything great in the last couple days, aside from eating half a pint of Ben and Jerry’s while watching Deadliest Catch the other night, or finding a delicious frozen Mexican Style Lasagna at Safeway.

JHP(U #*($HUNEP)_@)(#$+@)$*(JKLJSDGF&#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have come to the conclusion that I am in a rut. Like, a HUGE rut. A rut left by the tires of the dump truck that delivered the 6 tons of gravel at my house this morning.

Everytime I think that I am making progress and I lose a few pounds, two days later I have gained it all back for no apparent reason. I mean, really?! What the French, toast?? I don’t change my eating habits, I do the same amount of physical workouts… yet I keep getting screwed!

I am seriously so frustrated right now that I am considering going on some sort of disgusting liquid diet like the celebrities do at their “cleansing spas”. Ya know, something along the lines of vinegar, pickle juice, pureed clams, with a splash of grapefruit juice.

This is a short post because I just feel like screaming and crying and having a legit meltdown. If you need me, I will be curled up in the trunk of my car weeping softly to myself.

Feel Good Friday

This post won't be so much about my fatness, or eating healthy or anything along those lines. This is really just a feel good post. Because, for once, I FEEL GOOD.

It probably has something to do with the fact that the sun is out right now, and that really REALLY makes me feel happy. I am beginning to think that I suffer from SAD. Because everytime the sun starts to come out after all of our dreary Washington rain has effectively saturated my attitude, I get really happy and feel the desire to sing and dance and put on a bikini and frolic in the sandy beaches of the Snoqualmie River. (Don't worry, I WON'T!). It also really motivates me to get out and do things. And since I have started to become mildly obsessed with doing non-workout exercises, this is the perfect opportunity.

The things I have planned for my weekend of being happy and healthy include the following:

• Shovelling gravel- we got a dump truck load of gravel delivered today, to fill in the areas in the backyard that I shovelled last weekend. This was VERY exciting news to me. I had to BEG Chad to make sure he didn't move all the gravel without me (ha, fat chance!).
• Walking my dog- since Buck has been on a diet largely consisting of pizza (refer to my past post if you don't believe me), he is in need of exercise just as much as I am. With the next few days promising 70+ degree weather, it will be a really good time for us to get our rears in gear and battle our jiggly parts together.
• Grooming my horse- That's right people, I GOT A HORSE!! Technically I am only care leasing her, but whatever. I have found that when I am keeping myself busy with her, I don't even feel the need to eat until I get home and my stomach tells me that I haven't succombed to its nagging for 10 hours. This is GREAT! Not only do I get to miss a couple meals (which my jeans thank me for), I get to spend time with my horse, AND I get to be out in the sun. TRIPLE THREAT!
• Barbecuing- One of my favorite summer activities is barbecuing. And I don't mean hot dogs and hamburgers. No no, no no. I fully intend to slam out some of my favorite barbecue treats... kabobs! Throw some chicken, peppers, and onions on a skewer with some marinade and you have yourself a bomb.com delicacy. Not too bad on the calorie count either.

So friends, that is my feel good post for the day. In fact, I think that I will start having Feel Good Friday posts every week. Stay Tuned.

Spicing up my workouts

I haven’t posted for a couple days because I don’t know have a whole lot of stuff to talk about right now. So I have decided to dedicate a couple paragraphs to some unconventional exercise activities that I have found in my life over time.

The first, and newest to me, is YARD WORK. Who would’ve thought that busting my ass in the yard would actually give me a workout? Not me. I always thought of yard work as sitting in the dirt and pulling weeds (because that is what my parents always told me to do). But, I had this great motivational plan to get my backyard in good condition again. Let’s throw a big summer party!! My mom was all for this because she is like me and loves that sort of shit. Good thing nothing has been done with our backyard for approximately 25 years. Not a huge task to take on or anything. Pfftt. Cut to having to recruit some landscaper friends to tell us how to do this crap. So, back to my exercise. I spent a good 3 hours on Monday just digging in the freaking dirt. Just digging and scooping and shoveling. Dirt. If I ever pick up another shovel in my life, it will be too soon. I am STILL sore.

Now, to my next unconventional cardio workout. AIR-obics. For those of you uneducated saps reading this, that is aerobics, but on a trampoline. It is seriously a freaking blast. But it will also whoop your shit. A couple of friends and I were going twice a week, every week for a few months, but then we got busy and broke and kind of fell out of the habit. But, I am happy to say that I will be starting my regular trips to Sky High back up tomorrow, no matter what. I am even going to sacrifice $8 of my Fairly Tale wedding money to pay for it. Hell, it will be a while before I can fit my fat ass in a wedding dress anyways.

Stay tuned for more unusual workout secrets.