Saturday, May 26, 2012

Frustration. Times 1000.

This is a venting post. Just to warn you.

But before I begin, let me tell you that I caught up on The Bachelorette today On Demand. Kalon = TOOL. In case you guys didn't know already. And Jef is my favorite.

But now on to my frustration. With Chad.
And before you guys get all "I hate it when people bitch about their boyfriend on their blog behind his back! blah blah blah..." I will tell you that I definitely voice my frustration to his face and tell him how I feel... but that doesn't mean that I don't sometimes need to let it out some more.

So, Thursday night, Chad was meeting up with a friend of his to get a trolling motor from him. I talked to him at about 5:30 and he said he had to wait another 15 minutes or so for Bob to get home. He also told me that he had to go see another friend of his, but he wasn't sure if he was going to do that before or after dinner, so he would call me in a little bit to let me know. 
Cut to 7:45 when I text him to say "um, so are you going to eat dinner with me or not?" and he finally calls me and was like "oh, sorry, I got caught up talking and will probably be leaving here in another 10 minutes or so, so you don't have to wait for me for dinner."
I'm annoyed at this point. Because a) he didn't call me when he said he would, and b) he waited until after I had to reach out to him before he let me know that he wouldn't be home for dinner (backstory, we have eaten dinner together just about every single night since we started dating, which was 7 years ago)
So, I make some dinner and hop in the shower, thinking he will be home by the time I get out of the shower (since our friend only lives 20 minutes away).
I finally called him probably an hour and a half after we last spoke and he had JUST left our friends house.

By the time he gets home I am so mad and frustrated and crying and he was like "well SORRY". 


I am not that girl that gets mad that he is hanging out with his friends, so please don't think that. The last thing I want to be is the nagging girlfriend who calls every 20 minutes and gets mad anytime she's not included in something. That's not what it is.

All I want is for him to follow through when he says he's going to do something. Don't tell me you'll call me at a certain time to let me know what the plan is and then leave me in limbo for an hour. Or tell me you'll be home at a certain time and then just blow it off. 
I hate feeling like a second thought, ya know? I don't like to feel like I'm "just his girlfriend" and it's okay to tell me one thing and then blow it off, or for him to not even care that I'm putting off things that I could be doing on hold because I ACTUALLY expect him to do things when he says he is going to.

Anyways, after we talked about it that night, I thought I got through to him.
Apparently not.

We were talking about going fishing this afternoon with our friend Dustin. But as the day went on, it became obvious that Dustin's girlfriend Hayley wouldn't be able to go because she had to work tonight and there wouldn't be enough time (and Dustin would have their 3 year old Mason, so he won't take the boat out without at least one other person with them). So since I have had a headache since yesterday afternoon, I told Chad that I would stay home so him and Dustin could go out and fish with Mason for a few hours.
When he was leaving, it was about 4 and he said they would be back probably around 7. Works for me.

So I just mellow out at home relaxing, no big deal. Next thing I know, it's about 7:10 and I hadn't heard from Chad. So, just to touch base, I call him to find out when they would be back. He told me that they were still fishing and Mason had just fallen asleep. So I asked him when he really thought they would be back, and he said "well if we leave right now, it will be at least another half hour". So I point blank asked him if I was going to be eating dinner alone again and he said "Well, way to make me feel bad!" to which I responded that i wasn't trying to make him feel bad, but I wanted to know so I don't sit around on the pretense that he'll be home in a half hour and then have him not show up for another hour.

Anyways, long story short, I ate dinner by myself (which wasn't really dinner since Chad was supposed to be getting the stuff for dinner from the store on his way home). I also reminded Chad that we are supposed to be meeting some people at 8:30, so he said they would leave the lake shortly. It's now 8:00, so we'll just have to wait and see how things go...

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