Friday, March 23, 2012

Mean Girl

I found out today at work that I am a Mean Girl, and it did not feel good to hear that.

I think we can all admit to one time or another where we said or did something knowing that it could be potentially hurtful to someone else, but that didn't stop it.
Generally, I try to keep these things to a minimum.
Yes, I vent about people. Frequently. To my good friends, to my family, to my boyfriend (not necessarily ALL of them, EVERY time, but you catch my drift). 
But generally, these thing aren't meant to get back to someone else because they are usually things that I am saying out of frustration, anger, jealous, or just plain being in a bitchy mood.

Anyways, I was told today that a lot of those things that I have said or felt about people weren't really as secret as I thought. This made me feel really REALLY terrible. Not because I was caught in what I said and I was trying to be two faced or whatever (although it may seem that way), but mostly because I made people feel bad. That is NEVER my intention. If I wanted to make someone feel bad, I wouldn't vent to someone else, I would just blow up in the face of the person doing something to annoy me.

Anyways, I have been holding back tears all afternoon (and NOT holding them back at times) just because I feel bad that I hurt people, and also because I was given the impression that it goes both ways. That people could be saying awful things about me with the idea that it won't get back to me. 

I really am hating feeling this way right now, so I am definitely going to put an end to my bitchy mean girl ways, even if it is only venting to someone in the heat of the moment.

1 comment:

Kristine said...

Great post. Amen to all of it.