Dear Rain, please do your best to peace out before tomorrow. We got lotsa fishin to do.
Dear giant fish, please take my lures. I'd really like to fry you up in my new cajun fish spice.
Dear Progressive, please refrain from pulling $104.86 from my checking account in error and then taking two weeks to put it back it. You're really fucking up my finances here.
Dear Bachelorette Party/Bridal Shower guests, please take a few moments out to RSVP to the lovely invitations you have received from me. I'm very anxious to find out how many people I have to prepare for... even though those things are almost 2 months away.
Dear bank that owns the house we put an offer on, please quit taking your sweet ass time. I understand you are going to lose money, but you're going to lose MORE money if you have to foreclose and the house goes to auction. Fools.
Dear Chad, I really hope you don't have to work today because it is now 7:45 and you are still sleeping your little heart out.
Dear Friday, please fly by so I can get this weekend started!
Dear grocery stores, I know that this is a new endeavor for you, but please refrain from charging us an arm and a leg for our liquor. I know the state is having a fit about losing all the liquor business, but don't take it out on us consumers...