Sunday, December 9, 2012

Lonely, Discouraged and all that Jazz

I do my best to keep negative things off the blog and out of my mind (because we all know that bitching about something brings it to the front of your mind which then makes your mood even worse). But sometimes I just need a good vent session.

I also try not to complain about my relationship and my friendships. There is always two sides to every story and people have different schedules and whatnot, so I rarely get upset or hurt when plans don't work out with my friends. But lately I've been feeling like I am really just going things alone, if you know what I mean. 

It's not just with my friends either. Chad sometimes seems to be completely unaware of my feelings. In case you hadn't noticed, he has a LOT of hobbies and things he likes to do and is, in general, a very social person. If he's given the chance to go hunting with friends or to stay home and help me do stuff around the house, he will ALWAYS pick his friends (because housework is admittedly not a fun way to spend your weekend). 
The problem is that he seems to have really high expectations of what I should be doing with my time. I work 40 hours a week. I do all the cooking. I do the grocery shopping. I do the dishes, the sweeping, the bathroom scrubbing... 
But when I take a nap on a Saturday afternoon? Out comes the comments about how there are probably better things for me to be doing with my time. Or, when am I going to go to the gym.
My response? I'll start going to the gym after work again when I can count on you to do the chores and cook me dinner for a change. 

Don't get me wrong, I adore Chad, I do. And no relationship is without it's disagreements and frustrations. But there are times, like today, where I drive to the grocery store (by myself), do all the shopping (by myself), come home and put the groceries away (by myself), do the dishes (by myself), clean the bathroom (by myself), and watch football (by myself) where I can't help but cry because I just feel forgotten and unappreciated.

Some days are just sucky days.


Courtney said...

sorry to hear that, girl! hope you're feeling better soon.

though, i always feel concerned when a guy asks a girl when they're going to the gym (bad experiences with an ex), so just stay true to yourself - i'm sure he realizes how awesome of a girl he's got!

Nichole said...

Aww, we all go through these feelings sometimes. I have to say that I hope you can tell the bf how you feel, even if you and he are different, he should be able to hear how you feel, chickie.

Miranda said...

:( I'm sorry you feel like this. Unfortunately that is a part of life. I sometimes feel the same way and it sucks. But i hope these feelings are only once in awhile and you don't feel forgotten/unappreciated for long!

Lin said...

I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. I think we've all been there. My husband used to do this when we were still dating but I put that shit to rest as soon as could since I don't roll that way. I know you've probably already talked to him about it but it never hurts to say it again & express how it makes you feel. Every relationship has its compromises & how one spends their time is definitely something you have to compromise on.

Good luck & hope you're feeling better now.